If you have some free time and want to feel like doing a swan dive off a skyscraper later -- go to Toys 'R' Us. I prance into the gargantuan store alongside a young woman carrying an adorably plump little towhead positively bursting with excitement. "Hooray!" he says to me. "Hooray!" I respond and we both smile, blissfully unaware that this doorway marks the threshold to a maze of Hellfire. I'm immediately accosted by noise. Several talking toys are going off unprompted. Speakers blare children's music that sounds like Mickey Mouse Club on meth. Somewhere a child screams bloody murder. Between the sounds and sights -- every inch of my peripheral vision is occupied by blindingly bright...
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